"Confessions to Mallows"

Proximity changed me
If it is only me that sees
This time it is different
I am different

I have been deaf with the words of others
But what I hear
A loud voice within the depth of me

My time is almost up
I may not have this moment again
The grains of sand is slipping in my hands
I am building up my courage
This is it
All or nothing
This is my call
I am walking up to you
Confront you
This may sound crazy
But still I am falling and falling
And I have realized
I like you
I’m willing to take this risk... for you...



"Its been a while since I last posted something, a lot of things had happened, bad things and good things and I'm lucky enough that I am still standing. Here's a nice poem to share to everybody."

Something that I really miss doing...

Nasubukan mo na bang tumayo sa ilalim ng tirikang araw? O magtampisaw sa putikan na para bang wala kang pakialam? O tumakbo ng sobrang tulin na parang snatcher lang? O magpatuloy sa ginagawa mo kahit sobrang sakit na ng katawan? Ako? OO halika subukan mo...tara magbaseball tayo...

Its been a while since the last time I played baseball...actually I was in high school when I last played it.

Luckly there is this friend of mine who loved playing the game too. So last saturday and sunday we played catch at UP Diliman. I really miss playing that even my hands are hurting we didn't stopped until I cant bear it anymore.

At ngayong my pagkakataon na ako maglaro ulit at my pang tustos na ako sa dati ko pang hilig makaka paglaro na ako ulit. And good thing we found out that there will be a try out on saturday!!! Yey!!! Baseball again!!!

I really "WANT, NEED, HAVE" to learn how to...

Since High school I really wanted to know how to do this stuff, some says its dangerous, some says "you wont get any further", I said "Shut your crap mutha******!!! I want to do this and you don't have live with it."


I want to learn how to dance...

With adrenaline flowing, with the wind, and my own board to complete the list.

Namimiss ko na xa...

Hay...isang nakakatamad na araw nanaman sa opisina...
Ano kaya ang nakain ng boss ko at tinutukan ako magtrabaho maghapon...buti na lang 1hr before shift ends iniwan na nya ako...(huh! kala nya susuko ako?hehe..)

Anyway hindi yan ang dahilan ng post ko...gusto ko kasing ibahagi na may namimiss ako...



NAMIMISS KO NA SI INANG KALIKASAN!!!

Namimiss ko na ang mga ganitong senario... Mula umaga, tanghali at gabi naaaliw ako.

At ang mga remembrance kong ganito....

AT SYEMPRE LALO NA SILA!!! mga natatangi kong kapamilya...

Ang tagal pa ng susunod November pa...pero ayos lang sulit naman ang paghihintay...

MAjor climb naman Mt. PULAG here we come!!!

"Leave Out All the Rest"

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
'Cause no one else cared


After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here?


So if you're asking me
I want you to know


[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest


Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what I've made
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you


So if you're asking me
I want you to know


[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest


Forgetting all the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come
And save me from myself
I can't be who you are


[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest


Forgetting all the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come
And save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are


"Another boring day at the office, good thing I wont be staying that long. We got a "team weekend getaway" so my boss allowed me take a half day off just to attend my church activities before the said event.


Anyway, wala akong ibang maisip i-share so I decided to post this music video. One of my Linkin Park favorites. 


So..got to go... Mornyts Everyone..."

Anong ginagawa ko???

Had stopped blogging lately...di ko din alam kung bakit?
Wala akong ibang maipost, kaya ako napaisip.
Parang pinipilit ko lang ang sarili mag post ng di ko linya.
Hanggang sa aking maalala, "personal blog ko nga to pala?"
Hindi na dapat english, hindi din dapat matalinghaga basta ang importante gamitin aking wika.
Pero bakit ganito? Panggap akong makata? Antok lang siguro..malakas lang ang tama.
Tinatamad talaga ako..hindi ba halata?

Alam mo ang totoo? Nasa opisina ako...walang ginagawa.
Nasa likod ko lang ang boss ko hindi pa nakakahalata...pag nahuli ako, patay nanaman ang bata.
Ano nga ba ang dahilan? ba't wala akong ginagawa?
Para akong tanga tutunga tunganga.

Ngayon naalala ko na, bakit sinubukang maging bloggista.
Gusto ko nga lang pala magsalita pero ayaw nang eksena.
Tama ang mga ganitong panahon, kesa ngumanga sa opisina.
Tama maglabas nang sasabihin kesa naman sa ngumanga.

Heto nanaman...katamaran umatake na.
Wala nanaman akong masabi...ubos na ata ang istorya.
Siguro'y bukas naman ako bibisita.
Sana may maibahaging kwento...wag naman puro walang kwenta.

At least masaya ako...naalala ko na ang halaga...ang dahilan nito, ang sarili kong pahina.

"One Gathering and Unification - Isang Pagtitipon at Pagbubuklod"

The day started with an early Saturday church activity. Two other groups met up somewhere else, including us it makes three. Small groups eventually caught up with one another at the station, a place on where large vehicles depart. A bit late because of the light to heavy traffic, we reach Alfonso just outside Tagaytay’s boundary. Without knowing where to turn right, we decided to walk and search for the right path to take. Looking for a rough road our first sign which will lead us to the destined place where we should all go. Then we found it. A ten minutes walk from the main road. We finally reached it, the place where we found “BLUE”, the place where all of us should go.

It was a nice and beautiful farm where vegetation is rich, the soil is healthy and the eco system is so alive. The sun is about to set but the happiest event of the day is just about to start. Finally we saw the people waiting, three new people that I haven’t met nor seen in my entire life, but the feeling of a stranger didn't hit me. Sir Paul “The Board rider playing djembe guru”, Ma’am Jells “The Silent Diva of Kindness”, and Robbie who they call the High Priest who I call “The Hard Rockin Wordsmith Fairy”. Even though they are not talking that much at first they didn’t fail to make me feel that I’m welcome.

When introductions are made, and the others setting camp the rain pours down for a while, as if nature is welcoming and celebrating with us. As if she is saying “Come be one with me, I am one of the members of your family”. After camp was set, all of the people find their places near at the “kubo” to rest. Struggling with the fire Sir Paul is the main man who tried his best to maintain its flare. Even some of us were tired, sleepy and hungry, the place was filled with laughter, teasing is a common language and the guitar was playing with a giggling melody. Then another surprise came. Someone came by to visit us. It was Sir Poncie “The Legendary Smiling Face Sweeper”, even though he needs to be elsewhere important he still came by to meet and jam with us.

After eating, the best part of the gathering had come into place. No one had expected that it will be the welcoming ritual for us new breeds, paper pots with candles on it was placed, the lamp was dimed and suddenly the place looked like a fairy land. A welcoming ceremony was made. Thoughts were shared and papers written our names on it were given. We continued laughing, teasing and singing. After hours of socials and getting to know each other some decided to rest and call it a day. Others left awake and continued laughing, teasing and singing.

Time passed by until the sun greets us “good morning”. Comrades who fell asleep woke up one by one. Again laughing, teasing and singing rises up like the morning sun. Breakfast was served with “sinangag, itlog na maalat, kamatis, tuyo, bicol express at PINAKURAT.” After eating we decided to pack up, in mountaineering terms we “break camp.” The gathering ended up with the best picture taking that I ever had.

On my way home until I reach my bed thoughts were repeating, “Ang swerte swerte ko at nakilala ko kayo, ang mga bago kong kapamilya sana magkita-kita po ulit tayo.”

"Got a lot of sentence errors and lapses but please bear with it. I just really wanted to write it while I feel it and not to write it and think about it."

See no Evil, Hear no Evil, and The Smoking Evil

Ang dalawang magkapatid at mag pinsan.

"Nababaliw na ang PAYASO"

Lyrics:


Sinabi mo noon, hindi na babalik ang kahapon
Ngunit bakit ngayon nandirito pa rin


Sinabi niya sa akin, sagabal lang ang damdamin
Ang magmamahal ay mahina din
Sagot ba ang kamatayan sa lahat ng katanungan
Ang paningin niya, ngayo'y dumidilim
Kung diyos mo'y makasalanan,
Sasambitin pa ba ang kanyang ngalan
Paniniwala niya'y nawala na rin
Kung dati ang problema'y saglit lamang
Nagayon ito'y mahirap kalimutan
Pag-iisip niya'y naging malabo na rin


Chorus:
Nawala na ang kinang at ang kasiyahan
Ang ngiti sa mukha ay nakalimutan
Nagunaw na lahat sa kanyang mundo
Kaya nagayon ay, nababaliw na ang payaso


Ang mundo niya ay isang teatro
Buhay niya ay isang entablado
Pero ang payaso ay tao pa rin
Sa kaliwa ang hawak niya'y baraha
Sa kanan tangan niya'y gitara
Nag-iisip kung alin ang uunahin niya
Noo'y nagpapatawa ang payaso
Walang pakialam kahit magago
Pero bakit naging sensitibo na rin
Wala mang bahid ng kalungkutan
Pero huwad naman ang kasiyahan
Siya'y punong-puno ng tuwa't pighati

Chorus:
Nawala na ang kinang at ang kasiyahan
Ang ngiti sa mukha ay nakalimutan
Nagunaw na lahat sa kanyang mundo
Kaya nagayon ay, nababaliw na ang payaso


La, la, la, la, la, lalalala...
Lagi mo na lang sinasalo
Ang lahat ng aking ibinabato
Pagharap ko sa salamin
Nandoon ang payaso't nakatingin sa akin


Ano na ba ang kahahantungan
Ng payasong anonimo na sa lipunan
Hindi na maibabalik pa ang kahapon
Ang payaso noon ay hindi na ngayon
Wala na siyang pakiramdam
Wala na siyang pakialam
Wala na siyang tatakbuhan
Poot at galit ang nararamdaman


Chorus:
Nawala na ang kinang at ang kasiyahan
Ang ngiti ay napawi ng kalungkutan
Ako ang payaso, ang payaso ay ako
Pero 'di ko alam, nababaliw na ang payaso


Nababaliw na ang payaso...
Nababaliw... nababaliw...
Nababaliw na ang payaso


"This is one of my favorite song. I love it because of the meaning itself. Maybe I can relate to much? Hope you enjoy listening into it too."

"Lumalayong Paglalapit"

Sa bawat sandali ng ating buhay

May mga tao tayong nakakasalamuhat

May iba’t – ibang ugali,

May iba’t – ibang katangian.

Alam natin noong una

Di sinasadyang nagkakilala,

At sa isang grupo ng BARKADA,

 ika’y akin pang nakasama.

Una mang pagkikita

Unang pagkakataong makausap,

Lahat ng sinasabi mo’y di mapigilang pakinggan

Ito man ay may halong kakornihan .

At sa paglipas ng mga araw

Kalooban ko’y unti-unting gumagaan

Sa kwentuhan natin at tawanan

Ramdam  kong pagkakaibagan’y  magtatagal.

At sa araw-araw nating pagsasama

Pakiramdaman ko’y nagiiba.

Na hindi ko alam kung ano,

At hindi ko rin maipaliwanag kung paano?

Ngayo’y nagtatanong na ang aking puso

Kaibigan pa ba ang tingin ko sa’yo?

Dahil sa bawat pintig na lamang

Pangalan mo lang ang binibitiwan.

Ngayon’y natatakot ako

Handa na bang malaman mo,

Itong pagtatangi para sayo.

Sapagkat alam ko namang magkaibigan lamang tayo.

Hindi mo ba nalalaman?

Na ika’y minsan tinititigan

Sa puso ko’y buong paghanga

Na hindi maalay kahit pa ng balana.

Paghanga man o ibang bagay?

Namumuo sa diwa kong lantay

Di ko tiyak kung sa aki’y may pagtingin,

Di ko alam kung ito’y nadarama mo rin

Ngunit kung sakali,

Hahayaan bang ito’y maipakita? At maipadama ko rin?

Pinipilit limutin,

Itong nadarama.

Mahirap, Di maalis ang pagsinta.

Ikaw lamang ang nagugunita

Sa lahat ng araw,

Mapagabi man

O  umaga.

 "I wrote this poem a week ago. Inspired by a person's difficult love story.

Puzzled about the title I ended up putting "Lumalayong Paglalapit" for the friendship involve and the secret admiration that the person have for someone."

This is just the beginning - "isang Pasimula"

This post is a bit late but I decided to post it anyway.

I really don't know where to start or do I really have to say it.

I really don't know what to say, but I thought of doing an introduction,

since I just started Blogging yesterday.

I do write little things before.

Things that I had in mind.

Without the other people knowing.

Without anyone giving a sigh.

Scrappy writing was a hobby, then computer generation came.

Then I abandoned writing, without knowing what I am wasting.

A hobby that I turned my back off, but never been forgotten.

But now here I am.

Trying to write again.

Not as fancy as a writer.

But still as scrappy as ever.

I do not intend to be praised.

Nor ever wanted to influence.

But one thing is for sure.

This is just a beginning. - isang pasimula.

"And She Was Gone"

She chose to walk alone
Though others wondered why
Refused to look before her,
Kept eyes cast upwards,
Towards the sky.

She didn't have companions
No need for earthly things.
Only wanted freedom,
From what she felt were
Puppet strings.

She longed to be a bird. That she might fly away.
She pitied every blade of grass
For planted they would stay.

She longed to be a flame,
That brightly danced alone.
Felt jealous of the steam
That made the air its only home.

Some say she wished too hard.
Some say she wished too long.
But we awoke one autumn day
To find that she was gone.

Some say she wished too hard.
Some say she wished too long.
But we awoke one autumn day
To find that she was gone.

The trees, they say stood witness.
The sky refused to tell.
But someone who had seen it said
The story played out well.

She spread her arms out wide.
Breathed in the break of dawn.
She just let go of all she held...

And then she was gone.


By: Ginger Foutley (from the cartoon series "As told by Ginger")

Stop, Listen, Appreciate... simple things can be "our" reason.

Were you given a chance to feel the earth you're walking on?

Or differentiate a sky from gray to blue?

Have you heard silent whispers of the trees surrounding you?

Or even feel the rain falling down your skin?

Have you thought of the water from never ending rivers?

Or just wonder where it begins?

Do you smile seeing steep rocks ahead of you?

Or frown as you stepped on living things?

Do you close your eyes whenever fog hugs you?

Or when it vanish you still appreciate the view?

Do you value the people who were with you?

Or your just thankful you haven't had a clue?

But I(we) do. And if you know how, take the less traveled road.

For "ang mga taong nagmamahal sa bundok, iisa lang ang puso" - Nanay Cording

Chosen few among us who appreciates natures beauty.

Group picture with the loving and cheerful Nanay Cording.